8/11
Mom has hoarded since my grandmother died. Sometimes I feel like really I was raised by my grandparents and now I’m left taking care of my mother. Only she doesn’t want to be taken care of. Or does she? She’s so young to be acting the way she does, but she’s left the house in disrepair and mess! She keeps things like broken dishes, coffee cans, and wine corks, to do crafting projects – only they never get done! Mail piles up and up, she forgets to pay bills because she can’t find them or remember which ones are due.
I did a no-no. I waited for her to plan a long vacation, about 10 days. I invited my friends over and we cleaned! We didn’t finish the whole house, in fact I still haven’t finished the kitchen (which was my overall goal because the kitchen was so bad I couldn’t eat out of it safely). We did the dining room, living room, the hallway, entryway, and most of the kitchen, and most of the laundry room.
I pick her up from the airport in a few hours. I am sick with worry. Last time I tried to clean her kitchen she screamed at me (in front of my best friend, no less) because I poured out her coffee to clean the pot/machine.
And there are two situations – one being the house, but the other being her dog. She has a dog that she loves but hardly pays attention to. She leaves the dog in a crate most of the time and only lets him out to go to the bathroom and eat. While we were cleaning, a friend of mine took him home and had him groomed and fell in love with him. I agree that he should be rehomed with someone who will love him and care for him properly, but whenever I talk to my mom about it in the past she’s like, oh but he’s so cute and I love him. We have an elderly cat and 2 kittens but I care for them and they are low maintenance. She feeds and waters them, and I clean the litter boxes. I am concerned that if animal welfare ever found out about how she treats the dog, that they will take the cats away.
I did tell her I had a surprise for her. I set the dining table with flowers and candles. I want her to enjoy this. But I don’t know what other kind of reaction she could have. She’s 67 (almost 68). Should I worry about her heart or her psyche?
